Give Me 88 Reasons I Shouldn't Buy This

I mean, come on. I've already got my red swoosh high tops, my suspenders and my "lifejacket." It's time I blow some of my cash on a completely frivolous non-hovering HoverBoard right?

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Or do I just save up for a DeLorean?

Update: There's also a Griff Tannen Pit Bull board for sale. Go to town kiddies, I mean, rich nerds Griff Tannen Hoverboard Auction on eBay